How to help a grandparent with a letter, a form, or a phone

Helping a grandparent with a letter is not a paperwork task. It is a small negotiation about independence. The goal is not to take the letter away. It is to make the next ten minutes easier without making them feel like a child.

Read it aloud, then ask

Read the letter once, slowly, without commentary. Then ask: what do you think this is asking for? They may have understood more than the layout suggested. Let them say it first.

Write the questions down

Use a notebook, not your phone. Write four questions in large letters: who is this from, what do they want, what is the deadline, and what happens if we do nothing? The notebook stays on the table after you leave.

• Who sent this, and is there a reference number?
• What do they want, in one sentence?
• What is the date they need it by?
• What happens if we do nothing?

Call the number on the letter

Call the number printed on the letter, not a number from a text message and not a link in an email. If the letter asks for money or card details, stop and check the sender before anything else.

Let them make the call

If they are able, let them speak. Sit beside them with the questions. If they ask you to take over, take over, but narrate what you are doing. The call is theirs for as long as it can be.

Keep a copy

Photograph the letter and any form before it goes back. Write the date and what was agreed on the envelope. If there is a follow-up, put it on the calendar where they will see it.